Though someone may tick every box on paper and appear to be the ideal partner, the relationship is unlikely to excite you and last the duration if there isn’t any chemistry. Simply, chemistry is extremely important in a relationship and here’s why.

So, What is Romantic Chemistry?

Chemistry is more than just an initial spark or an immediate attraction to another person, it’s a deeper connection of understanding and a compatibility that lasts. It is one thing to be attracted to someone, it’s another thing to feel as though you ‘click’ both mentally and physically. It’s one thing to want to spend time together, it’s another thing to feel excitement and palpable energy when you are in their company. Though chemistry in a relationship is something that is hard to describe, it’s a feeling we all know and look for in a romantic partner.

Chemistry isn’t something you can manufacture, it’s either there or it’s not, and this is why such importance is placed upon it. Watch any romantic comedy or listen to any love song, and the focus of having chemistry is undeniable. Chemistry may deepen and show itself in other ways as your relationship develops, but it is always natural and organic. It’s something that happens between some people and not others, it’s something that’s felt on some first dates and not others. It can’t be forced, which is why people give it so much weight.

What Does Chemistry Feel Like?

No two people are alike and no two relationships are alike, which means that we experience romantic chemistry in slightly different ways. Some of us experience chemistry as wanting to be with another person at all times, missing them as soon as they leave. For others, it’s a combination of flirty banter and butterflies when they look at you. It could be the desire to be intimate and close by, it could be the ease that comes with being in their company or the fact that there are no awkward silences. In the simplest form, chemistry is a feeling of clicking with another person and feeling excited around them.

What’s a Relationship Without Chemistry?

Of course, there are a multitude of other things to think about when you are dating. Chemistry is important, but it’s not the ‘be all and end all’ of a healthy relationship and there are other things to strive for. If you have been dating for a while, you are sure to have a list of things you want and need from a partner. Trust and loyalty, fun and stability, honesty and humour; they are all elements that make up a romantic relationship that is worth pursuing. Without them, you may feel as though your relationship is lacking in some way or that there is something better still put there. Chemistry? It’s the all important icing on the cake and let’s face it, who wants a cake without icing?

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Tips for Dating During COVID

Get Creative With Dates – Though lockdown restrictions and social distancing measures are slowly easing, it could be a while before everything is back to normal. Thankfully, that doesn’t need to put a stop to dating altogether. By getting creative with your date activities, you can enjoy meeting new people and potentially meet your perfect match during COVID. If you are not able to sit inside a busy restaurant, head to the park for a romantic picnic. If you want to avoid large crowds, book a table outside a quiet bar for drinks in the city. If you’re not able to attend a concert or theatre performance, take a look for an outdoor event. Though COVID may limit your date plans somewhat, it doesn’t rule them out completely and there are plenty of COVID friendly options.

Be Selective – At Project 143, we place a lot of emphasis on handpicking people to match you with and this is even more important amidst COVID. With many of us wanting to mingle with fewer people, carefully selecting who you date and where you go is paramount. Rather than going on a date because an algorithm says you should, we choose your matches based on you as an individual and what you are looking for. Of course, this doesn’t mean being too picky and not giving people a chance. Rather than wasting your time and energy on someone who you know isn’t right for you, you can focus your attention on those with genuine potential.

Give Remote Dating a Go – If you have been looking to date during COVID, you will know that meeting remotely is hugely popular. With the pandemic going on, many singletons turned to remote dating and this isn’t something that will go away when lockdown ends. Though there are downsides of conducting a date via Skype, FaceTime or Zoom – it’s hard to look your best when your camera freezes and we all know the struggles of an audio delay – it’s a good way to find out if you get on. If you have a lot to talk about and the conversation flows, think about going out on a ‘real’ date when you are able to. If there is no spark and awkward silences aplenty, you won’t have wasted an evening finding out.

Get Back Out There

Like many people, you may have let dating take a back seat during COVID and rightly so. Simply, there were more important things to worry about. However, now is the time to get back out there and dust off those dating outfits. With the world opening up again, there has never been a better time to give dating your all. With Project 143, help is at hand and you won’t be doing it alone.

With lockdown – slowly, but surely – coming to an end, you can afford to make dating a priority again. That doesn’t mean you have to throw yourself back in at the deep end and download a tonne of dating apps, but putting some feelers out there and showing willingness to meet your match can make a huge difference. Though dating during COVID may be daunting and a little out of your ‘new normal’ comfort zone, it’s certainly worth it in the end.

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We consulted Project 143 lifestyle guru, Chiedu Hing and dating expert, James Preece to find out, when it comes to dating, if age is ever just a number.

Gender Divide on Aging

For James, there is a distinct gender divide when it comes to how we embrace aging. He sees many men failing to take care of their appearance as they age while women spend increasing time on beauty and fitness routines.

James sees this trend driving women to seek relationships with younger men. “What happens is women just aren’t attracted to men their own age or older. They look around and decide they will have to date younger.” Problems arise when things get serious James says, as “most younger men don’t want to settle down with someone if there’s too much of an age gap.”

Of course, there is also the age-old stereotype of men who want to start relationships with much younger women. James argues this is nearly always a disaster and many men in this situation are simply looking at the superficial, in short, “they want someone they show off to their friends.”

What Impact Does Age Have on a Relationship?

With the right attitude – it seems that age can have little to no effect on a romantic partnership. Chiedu says “relationships are successful because both parties have looked past the number and decided to accept their partner because of how they make them feel.”

Society can make it tough, though, to see aging and dating in a neutral light. We are bombarded with messages that youth is good and this can leave older daters under increased pressure. Chiedu advises her clients to stop judging themselves and other negatively on age, arguing it creates a dangerous cycle of thinking. She advises, “this is a self-limiting belief which, the more you think it, the more you will believe it to be true and the more it becomes your reality”

One thing Chiedu has noticed is an increase in age gap relationships, saying, “we are seeing more examples of successful relationships with age gaps as big as 12 years between couples.” Perhaps this means we are finally leaving our obsession with age behind!

Make Your Own Rules

Something both our experts agree on is that you make your own rules when it comes to aging and dating. As James says, “it’s much more important that you have shared values, interests and life goals. Give everyone a chance and you never know what might happen!”

Project 143 is an elite matchmaking service and our dating experts are determined to help you find lasting love regardless of your age bracket. Get in touch today and let us help find your perfect match.

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Matchmaking in 2017

But what does matchmaking even mean in 2017? Well, it means I don’t have any built-in algorithms and I match people based on who they really are. It’s pretty old school really, I bring people together with similar interests, aspirations, goals and work hard to find just that right mix of chemistry that leads to love.

And that’s what I’m passionate about, giving people the tools, the time and the opportunity to find their ideal match. I want to pull people off their phone or laptop screen and into the real world to talk to each other, to interact and to feel genuine chemistry.

The problem

Online and app dating is here and it’s likely to be here to stay. But for lots of people it simply doesn’t work. We spend 7 times as long now browsing online for dates as we do meeting people in real life. That feels insane. You could be sat on a train opposite the man or woman of your dreams and not even notice them because your head is stuck in Tinder. Why are we dating this way?

Customer satisfaction is incredibly low for online dating and that could be because it involves a whole lot of time in for some pretty disappointing outcomes. You put hours into messaging the guy or girl who has no intention of meeting you or there is simply so much choice you don’t know where to start. Dating apps don’t even really feel like dating anymore it’s like a horrible computer game with your heart and your confidence up for grabs. But it seems like a game we love to play with more than 1.4 billion swipes a day on tinder!

The solution

So, if you’re feeling the frustration and the disappointment of the online world how do you get out there? It’s got to the point where going up to someone in a bar or on the street seems downright weird. How do we break down these walls and start having conversations again? For me, it’s all about relearning those interactions which a few years ago would have been totally normal.

So how do you build that confidence and start those conversations? Well, some of it is just bare faced bravery and some of it is having the right tools or the right questions to make that leap.

You want to avoid the usual dull dating questions. What’s your favourite food? What’s your favourite movie? Giant yawn.

Instead, try and ask interesting questions that prompt a story. When someone starts telling a tale, you engage with them. You get to see a little bit of that real person – that’s how sparks are born.

Who is your hero? If you could travel anywhere right now, where would you go and why? What are you passionate about?

Engage people with open body language, smile, look them in the eye and be friendly whilst respecting their personal space. The worst that can happen is a polite conversation that doesn’t go anywhere and isn’t that better than waiting weeks for someone online to reply to a message and never receiving an answer?

Bottom line..

It’s high time we took a step forward into real world dating, online dating is a tool but it isn’t the only one in your tool belt and it should be a step towards real life interactions and not instead of them.

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It’s Halloween soon, and as a matchmaking professional it got me thinking about the one really ‘scary’ thing people fear more than witches and ghosts. Starting a new relationship! Why? Because it’s something unknown – and we are scared of that.

Let’s face it, falling in love means taking a risk. We place a lot of trust in the other person. We let their response to our emotions affect us. We feel exposed and vulnerable.

Some people think that the the more we care, the more we can get hurt. As a consequence and as an Asian dating expert, I advise Indian singles who are looking for a serious date or partner, “when you free yourself from the fear, you will attract lasting love.”

Here are 5 steps to STOP being afraid of falling in love:-

1. All relationships don’t fail, just like all relationships won’t always work.

Relationships don’t always fail, just like all relationships won’t always work. A past relationship may have failed because it just wasn’t the right relationship.

Thus, we can learn from a bad relationship experience so our present life isn’t hurt by the past. This being so, get rid of the false belief to eradicate the false terror of falling in love.

2. Meet MORE people

Remember to proactively get out and meet people! As a result, your thought process will change – for the better! In addition, don’t call people for a date after you meet them for the first time. Instead, just keep meeting new people. Certainly, you can invite right one for a date when it just feels right.

Your fears won’t disappear overnight, but, as a result you will certainly be able to get rid of it in time. Hence follow my recommended steps to get the results you want!

3. What are you really afraid of?

If you are frightened of love, it’s important to look at your trepidations and to try to understand them. Are you afraid of letting love in because you don’t trust people? Are you scared of letting love in because you don’t love yourself? Or perhaps because you don’t know if you could really love someone else? There are many reasons you might be holding back.

Consequently, it’s important to look at the reasons behind your qualms. So if you have issues with trust or self-love it’s important try to understand yourself better. As a result, it will probably be easier for you to let love in.

4. Your fear will not stop you from experiencing pain

Because living in fear is already living in pain! So instead of avoiding alleged sources of pain, you need to seek sources of happiness.

By so doing you will see the joy of falling in love. In addition, you will also to see life in a new way. You will meet people who share your values and who appreciate you.

5. The right person will calm you

If your heart has been broken, falling in love can be motifying. You think about your previous experiences almost all of the time. That’s normal. But it’s not that scary if you have someone by your side that you trust. The right person will understand and support you.

In addition, ask whether it’s your irrational “fear” that is holding you back back from a good relationship. Or is your confusion a sign that the relationship isn’t good for you? Think about this, and listen to your gut.

To conclude, if you sense you have found a good match that might turn into something amazing, be brave and go for it! Most of all, please go and find love  – and fall in love –  this Halloween!

The post Scared of ghosts this Halloween? Or are you scared of falling in love? appeared first on Project 143.

As a professional matchmaker, my friends and clients ask me if playing hard to get on dates, a ‘good’ thing to do? Some dating and relationship advice can conflict about this. For example, some advice suggests that people should ‘play hard to get’ in order to increase attraction and desire. Other advice suggests people should be more direct and straightforward in order to build a sense of trust from the start.

Is there any value in playing hard to get, and is easy-to-get really all that bad?

I know from experience that being on the receiving end of someone else’s aloof and uncertain signals does increase a sense of desire and excitement. Easy-to-get and hard-to-get strategies have opposite effects on emotions.

When we are engaged and interested on the date (easy to get) we are more positive and likeable. Individuals who are detached and non-engaging (hard to get), create more interest and desire. The strategy that made the person more likeable was not the same as the strategy that got them picked for a date or relationship.

Why having the right conditions is key

When you play hard to get it will only work under the right conditions. Playing hard to get works when your date is already interested and when they already think you are “likeable” and nice, but are not yet passionate about you.

Try being a bit of a challenge for your date. You may be seen as more desirable. Think about it like this. When people have what they really want, they want it all the more, right?

If your partner is not committed, playing hard to get can backfire. Given this, it’s better to be friendly, pleasant, and straightforward and to increase your ‘likeability’. By doing this they can get to know more about you, who you are and what you stand for. And how is this done best? Here are some key steps to be more likeable on your date-

5 ways to be more likeable on your date:-

1. Be curious and interested in them

Likeable people are always interested in what others have to share with them. They enjoy learning about them and value what they can learn from everyone.

2. Listen

Listen to what people say to you. Try not to get distracted or too keen to speak out when someone is sharing their stories or telling you something. People enjoy talking to you because you are always respectful to the person with whom are speaking.

3. Smile

Smile when you meet someone. People will feel happy and lighten up with your company, because you possess a friendly and upbeat nature. A date will want a repeat performance, trust me!

4. Be Positive and Upbeat

Negativity sadly abounds in the world today. It’s in the news and it appears on the movies we watch and on Facebook and twitter feeds of our friends. Be a positive voice in a world where everyone sounds a bit glum. You will be a pleasure to talk to. And your date will want to talk to you again!

5. Be confident

Be confident on your date. You don’t want to be arrogant, but you also don’t want to come across as shy or scared. Confidence comes down to how you feel in your own skin. Take care of yourself, dress in clothes that make you feel good, and talk about the things you understand. You will come across as very compelling!

The post Play easy-to-get or hard-to-get when dating? appeared first on Project 143.

If you need inspiration for things to do on date other than dinner by candlelight, check out 10 unusual suggestions for unusual dates in London from the capital’s new, expert matchmaker:-

1. Watch a Sunrise together.

 The London skyline at dawn is breath-taking, so watch the magic of the sunrise together.

2. Serenade your date!

Head to Sarastro restaurant in Covent Garden and have an opera singing waiter serenade your date!

3. Go horse riding in Hyde Park.

 Whether you are an experienced horse rider or not, head to Hyde Park stables and giddy-up for a private or group riding lesson in the park.

4. Watch one of Shakespeare’s romantic plays at the Globe Theatre.

A Midsummer Night’s Dream is on until 11 September.

5. Sail from Little Venice to Camden on a traditional canal boat.

Cruise though Regents Park and maybe sneak a peek at London zoo on the way.

6. Get lost – and then find each other in Hampton Court maze.

7. Book a private box at the theatre

The theatre is always romantic but it’s even more so with a private box, trust me!

8. Enjoy outdoor opera in Holland Park

Opera buffs and novices will find something that appeals to every taste.

9. Cross the glass floor at Tower Bridge

The glass floor at Tower Bridge allows visitors to watch the bridge lifting from above.

10. Make ice cream together!

Ice cream parlour Blu Top runs ice cream making classes from just £38.50pp. Delish!

[Asian dating | Asian matchmaking UK – Project 143]

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I read today that saying ‘thank you’ to your partner may be the secret to having a better relationship. I totally agree with the journalist behind the survey, Janice Kaplan, who helped conduct a survey about Americans’ gratitude habits. The results? While 97 percent of respondents said they regularly thanked  partners, only 48 percent of women responded that they regularly thanked their husbands.

I am not entirely surprised by the results from reports like this. Let’s face it, we all know the impact of showing just a little kindness and thoughtfulness.

Research has shown that people who feel grateful for interactions with their loved ones have a stronger connection and feeling of satisfaction in the relationships. Other reports have shown that the more grateful a couple reports being, the more likely they are to stay together.

I will always remember reading a Spanish proverb, “He who sows courtesy reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love.” I couldn’t agree more! This is so true in relationships and marriage; small acts of kindness really can go a long way with people. If you’ve seen Jennifer Aniston in ‘The Break Up’ you will remember when she says she would have appreciated it if her husband had bought her some flowers. She had gone out of her way to make dinner for him after a really hard day at work. The flowers would have been that ‘something small’ that would have been ‘oh so big’ to her. They would have shown that her husband really cared about his wife.

So what are the other things that partners can do to enjoy a great relationship with each other? Here are my 4 tips for a successful relationship that I share with clients as a professional matchmaker:-

1. Listen

For me, listening to each other is THE number one secret to a healthy, happy partnership between two people. We all need to be listened to in order to be understood and valued. It’s when we aren’t listened to by our loved ones, that misunderstandings occur. And what is a possible impact of a misunderstanding? An argument!

In order to really listen properly, it’s important to look at your partner when they talk. But to be a really good listener, it’s important not to talk over or interrupt your partner. It can take some people time to break this habit so you need to be patient and allow your partner to take as much time as they need to talk.

2. Make Time for each other

I know we are all on the go and there don’t seem to be enough hours in the day, but if you don’t spend any time together alone as a couple then you are more likely to drift apart, sorry. Relationships need regular contact to work. Did you know that Paul and Linda McCartney spent every day together in their 29 year marriage and there were only 11 days when they didn’t spend the night together! There is no substitute for shared quality time. When you spend time together without any interruption, you will form a bond that will get you through life’s good times and the not-so-good times too.

3. Honesty is key

You may share with your partner the things they may not want to hear. But better this than to have him or her doubt your honesty! Mistrust is one of the key relationship deal breakers. Once trust is lost or broken, it can take a very long time to re-establish it and get back on track. The happiest couples I know are the ones where honesty is as natural and instinctive as walking or breathing.

4. Focus on what they do right not what they do wrong

Positive reinforcement is a technique used with children and it holds its own with adults too. These being the case, compliment your partner when they deserve it. Try not to look for things they do wrong. Be on the look out to appreciate the great things your partner does because when you notice them, it will encourage them to reciprocate by doing good things for you in return. It creates a positive upward spiral. And when people are appreciated this leads to admiration. And when you admire someone, it’s really easy get along with them.

What are your secrets to a strong relationship? Share them with Project 143 on Facebook or Twitter!

[Asian dating | Asian matchmaking UK – Project 143]

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So with this in mind, take a look at 5 of my favourite first date ideas which you may well want to consider:-

1. Go for a walk in a London park or green space

This is such a simple first date idea but most shy away from it because they feel like they must do something complex in order for their date to be impressed. Wrong! The only ideas you need to impress your date with are the ones that you speak and share as your conversation progresses. If you are an interesting person and have found a fun person to spend time with, rest assured that a walk about town will be just fine. Remember, the idea is to leave your date wanting more. Simply enjoy any number of the capital’s beautiful parks and outdoor spaces and make the most of the summer weather.

1. Watch an outdoor movie

Going to a movie is always a winning number when it comes to a first date. However, why not give it an added edge by going to see a movie outdoors. There are so many outdoor super cool movie venues around the capital, so Londoners really are spoiled for choice.

1. Enjoy al fresco dining by creating  your own picnic

Pick a nice spot near where you’re meeting up and swing by a supermarket or delicatessen for some quick eats before setting up camp for food and conversation with your new favourite person. There’s no need to spend a lot of money. Picnics are supposed to be simple and you want it to be about getting to know your date, not truffles wrapped in gold foil!

1. Try boating

The idea of sailing on a first date seems like a recipe for disaster but something milder, like canoeing, row boating, or taking a paddle boat out on a sunny afternoon would work well. There’s a lot to be said for drifting on a lake aboard a giant plastic swan and London’s parks and boating lakes are the perfect place for messing about on the water. There are some amazing places dotted right across the capital to do this, such as, Hyde Park and Greenwich Park or Richmond and Regent’s Park. It’s fun and it won’t cost you a great deal to enjoy.

1. Tee Up!

Just because you live in the City doesn’t mean you can’t experience the pleasure of the golf course. Did you know that there are a number of great driving ranges across London and all you pay for is a basket of balls; lessons are also available for groups and individuals. It’s certainly something different and whether you are a seasoned professional golfer or a novice, will certainly be something to talk about afterwards.

Visit our blog page for more weekly dating stories and Top Tips!

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