Regardless of how old you are or where you are from, you probably grew up being told that the perfect person was out there waiting for you; your one true love, your soul mate and the one person that you are destined to spend the rest of your life with. Films, movies, television and music often depict two people in love who are meant to be together. You only have to watch a handful of romantic comedies to see that the perfect someone is a key theme, a feature almost all written love stories tend to have. We aren’t told that two people can come together and build a relationship despite their differences, we are told that everyone has a perfect someone and they lived happily ever after without putting in too much effort.
As we get older and we begin dating, we start to question this reality. When we find ourselves single in our thirties or older, or recovering from a breakup, and the idea of the perfect someone is quickly called into question. After all, if they really were perfect for us, wouldn’t they have found us already? Well, no, not exactly.
What Makes Someone Perfect For Us?
There is no denying that there are people we are better suited to than others, you only need to go on one bad date to know that. However, that doesn’t mean that we all need to be looking for the same perfect someone. Instead of looking for the perfect person, we need to look for the perfect someone for us. This doesn’t mean someone who ticks every box and does no wrong, it means someone who shares similar goals and desires; someone we can build a life and grow with, someone we want to spend time with, someone we can share our thoughts and feelings with.
A lot of people focus on finding their ideal match in terms of what they look like, the job they have and what they have achieved in life. If you’re especially picky, you may factor where they are from or their financial standing in as well. Instead, you should be focusing on finding someone whose personality compliments yours and who wants similar things out of life.
Think about it, it’s much more important to find someone who shares your views on having children than it is to find someone who has the same favourite movie as you. It’s much more important to find someone who has similar interests to you, than it is to find someone who graduated with a specific degree from a specific university. You may have an idea of who the perfect someone is, but you can’t rule anyone out.
Should We Be Compromising on Perfection?
Too many people go into the world of dating with a clear idea of what they want and though it’s good to know what you are looking for in a partner, you need to be prepared to compromise. This doesn’t mean settling for less than you deserve, it means being open to the idea that the perfect someone may not be who you were expecting.
They can be perfect for you in the way they make you feel, the joy they bring you and the life goals they share. They may not share your love of going to the theatre or eating specific cuisine, but does that mean they’re not your perfect someone? No, as long as they embrace your likes and you embrace theirs. Many experts would agree that a little imperfection is key to a healthy relationship.
Being someone’s perfect someone is much more than being perfect on paper, it’s all about chemistry and making the relationship work in the long run. Relationships do require a certain level of compromise from both parties, but this shouldn’t take away from you feeling as though someone is perfect for you. You can compromise and ask someone to compromise, whilst still being a perfect match. A lot of people spend their time dating searching for someone who is just like them, only to realise the perfect someone is the exact opposite.
They say opposites attract and there is some truth to it, so be open to this possibility when you are looking for your perfect someone.