I love you are the three very big little words we all want to hear. But is there a ‘right’ time for us to say them?
Some reports suggest a six month milestone. Other reports say it’s when couples meet the parents.
But what happens when you pass the six month period? What if you haven’t said or heard those words yet? Should you worry?
No! Absolutely not!
As an asian dating professional, I say, there are NO rules!
Here are 5 things I recommend you to remember about those famous words:-
- Say “I love you” when you mean it
First of all, you shouldn’t say “I love you” unless you mean it.
And if you mean it, then you should say it – a LOT!
- Timing ISN’T Important…
Whilst some people stress the importance of timing, for example, ‘go on at least ‘x’ many dates’, or ‘never say it first’, is timing really more important than honesty and self-disclosure?
However, in my professional opinion, there is no precise formula for when to say “I love you.”
As such, you should say it whenever you feel that way, without making calculations about timing.
Thus when love at first sight happens, you SHOULD say “I love you”. You are just expressing how you feel at the moment. There is nothing wrong with that. Because disclosing your emotions is honest, and honesty is great!
- … But Time IS!
On the other hand, time is key in your relationship, not timing.
What do I mean?
In short, time will impact significantly upon its duration, frequency, and development. Time may also increase trust and honesty between partners. In short, true, meaningful love needs time to develop.
As I explained in Rule 2, whilst it’s normal to say “I love you” after a short time, if it feels right, it isn’t a good idea to say “I love you” after a fleeting moment.
This could imply that you are not really serious about what is in fact a serious matter. You may say that you see great potential for the relationship to grow. Remember, we can recognise potential. We cannot recognise or guarantee its inevitable implementation.
Bottom line, love over time enhances trust and honesty between partners.
- Should you respond?
My clients ask me if and how, and if, they should respond to “I love you”.
First of all, you don’t have to tell someone that you love them just because they have told you how they feel.
Unless you are 100% sure of your feelings, say that although right now you do not know whether you love them, you do know that you like them a lot.
Explain that you want to get to know them better, and that you want to give the relationship a chance to grow. This is genuine and heartfelt.
It does not matter who says “I love you” first, or who says it more frequently.
Remember, what really counts is the sincerity and depth of your relationship and how it develops.
- Actions speak louder than words
Finally, the words “I love you” can also be demonstrated in actions, as well as words.
Couples often express love through everyday actions. This includes things like the receipt and acknowledgment of your partner’s acts of love, their gestures of kindness, generosity and attention.
Hence if you ever start to worry that you haven’t heard “I love you” recently from your partner, take note if they’re showing their love in any of those amazing day-to-day actions.